What is a Bystander??
Bystanders are the people who are standing by while someone is getting bullied. We encourage all bystanders to become "upstanders". If they are "upstanders" they are the people who stand up for the victim and stop the bully. The more "upstanders" there are, the better chance that they will be able to stop the bully. If you don't stand up to bullies it can lead to very fatal circumstances.
When you see bullying happening, these are ways you can become an upstander.
1. Don't just stand there and watch, you can stand up to the bully and say, "This isn't funny.", "You're the only one who is laughing.", or "I don't see what's so funny."
2. You can tell a trusted adult about what's happening and let them take care of it. If you feel more comfortable keeping your identity a secret then you can request to be anonymous, leave a note for a teacher without your name, or you can write "anonymous" instead of your name.
3. But if you don't feel comfortable doing either of the first two strategies, you can talk to the victim. Being their friend would mean the world to them or you can just say "I hope they stop.", "I don't think that they are funny.", or "They are so mean." This is a way to comfort, show support, and give the victim strength, confidence, and the courage to defend themselves.
1. Don't just stand there and watch, you can stand up to the bully and say, "This isn't funny.", "You're the only one who is laughing.", or "I don't see what's so funny."
2. You can tell a trusted adult about what's happening and let them take care of it. If you feel more comfortable keeping your identity a secret then you can request to be anonymous, leave a note for a teacher without your name, or you can write "anonymous" instead of your name.
3. But if you don't feel comfortable doing either of the first two strategies, you can talk to the victim. Being their friend would mean the world to them or you can just say "I hope they stop.", "I don't think that they are funny.", or "They are so mean." This is a way to comfort, show support, and give the victim strength, confidence, and the courage to defend themselves.
Hurtful and helpful bystanders! What will you be?
There are hurtful and helpful bystanders. Hurtful ones are the ones who just stand by and watch, sometimes they even join in with the bully. Some join in with laughing, pointing, cheering, or making comments. The most common thing to do if you're a hurtful bystander is just stand by, watch it happen, and remain silent. Being silent is just as bad as joining in with the bully. You make the victim feel like no one is on their side and no one likes or cares for them. That is mainly what a hurtful bystander is. You want to be the opposite of that, a helpful bystander. Someone who stands by and helps the bully. Stand up for the victim. Then you become an upstander. Someone who supports the victim.
Why don't bystanders intervene?
They think, "It is none of my business."
They fear getting hurt or becoming the new victim.
Sometimes they feel powerless against the bully.
They do not always like the victim, or sometimes they believe the victim deserves what is coming to them.
They do not want to draw attention to themselves.
They think telling adults will just make it worse.
They just do not know what to do.
If you do not help the bully, you may experience the following:
Pressure to participate in the bullying.
Anxiety about speaking to anyone about the bullying.
Feeling powerless to stop the bullying.
Fear of associating with the victim, the bully, or anyone associated with the bully.
Guilt for not helping the bully.
They think, "It is none of my business."
They fear getting hurt or becoming the new victim.
Sometimes they feel powerless against the bully.
They do not always like the victim, or sometimes they believe the victim deserves what is coming to them.
They do not want to draw attention to themselves.
They think telling adults will just make it worse.
They just do not know what to do.
If you do not help the bully, you may experience the following:
Pressure to participate in the bullying.
Anxiety about speaking to anyone about the bullying.
Feeling powerless to stop the bullying.
Fear of associating with the victim, the bully, or anyone associated with the bully.
Guilt for not helping the bully.